Despite keeping it fairly quiet I turned 21 on Thursday and now I'm just winding down from the celebrations. So now it's time from some wiseness from an official adult. Maybe I don't quite have the wiseness that Ms Von had on her 31st birthday (and yes I am stealing the blog idea!) but if the UK government reckons I'm responsible enough to adopt a child or ride a big-big-big motorbike then I should be worth taking advice from.
At least I'm wiser than you average 12 year old.
1. Make a copy of everything.
Birth certificate, drivers license, passport and any work for projects you're currently undertaking. I lost photos 'cause my PC crashed and then I just kept everything on my memory card until it made it's way to the Internet. And then my camera got stolen along with photos of Social Media Week, a friend's 21st and a vlog of me walking through the streets with Andy Android on my face. Now they're on PC, memory card and Internet.
2. If you know what you want to do with your life then you're lucky (or lying)
Very few people know exactly what they want or how they are going to go about it. Ask round your circle of friends; there will be a few who have no idea of what they'll do post-university. I now know I want to work in social media, but what companies to go for? Shrugs.
3. If You Don't Know What To Do You Still Need To Do Something In The Mean Time
Volunteer. Gain some soft skills! Go to community college and do several small qualifications to help find your passion. Or work for money. Point is: sitting on your ass won't help you find your passion.
4. Keep your Facebook friends limited.
I gave my friends list a big clear out on New Year getting rid of those who I hadn't spoken directly to (not even a happy birthday) since school. When I leave university another big clear out will come again. It feels liberating. I never send friends requests and I'm not afraid to say no if I'm a bit confused as to who they are. But what about those pesky people who you don't like but have to stay friends with for the sake of office/classroom/family peace? There's a feature that allows you to bloke certain people's updates from your News Feed. No longer do you need to know about your cousin's baby's first tooth!
5. An awkward silence is sometimes better than blurting out something stupid.
Recently I was sitting with the ex-boyfriend of my ex-boyfriends new girlfriend (keeping up?) just as my ex walked by and we fell into silence not knowing what to say. My friend piped up "Could you bet more awkward?". Yes, in fact. Since not long after the split originally happened I blatantly ran away from him.
6. Unless you're harming yourself or others what you do is no one elses' business but yours
Tattoos don't harm you. Neither do eyebrow piercings. Veganism doesn't do much harm either. Neither does the way you dress. Drinking every night until 4am does.
7. Six degrees of separation is true (or at least somewhat true)
I've caught many liers out this way because they didn't quite realise how small the world is. Such as the male friend who told another guy not to chat me up because there was something going on between us. Only for me to re-meet this said guy later on down the line. Or the ex-boyfriend who said his most recent crush prior to me "dressed like a slut" only for me to meet her and reckon her dress sense was quite frumpy.
8. DIY it when you can
Will save you so much money. I haven't been inside a hair salon since I was seventeen. And I've never had a manicure despite taking loads of pride in my talons. Walking doesn't quite cut it as DIY but walking when it's less than half a mile won't hurt you.
9. The contraceptive pill is an amazing invention
Not just for the child-free amongst us. Also for period pains. Forget hot water bottles, this is where it's at!
10. Emerging yourself in a new environment is the best time for an image change
I constantly tried to "come out of my shell" during high school but struggled because everyone who had known me as a shy child got a bit confused. When I went to university everyone took it at face value. Many people even struggle to believe that I shy fifteen year old.
I constantly tried to "come out of my shell" during high school but struggled because everyone who had known me as a shy child got a bit confused. When I went to university everyone took it at face value. Many people even struggle to believe that I shy fifteen year old.
11. Determining someone's income based on their image is harder than you'd think
I'm perceived to be rich. But in reality I have an NHS nurse as a mum and a dad who is registered disabled. My grandad also comes from the council estate where The Scheme is set. Whilst I'm hardly working class I'm certainly not as privileged as a some people have me pinned down as. Truth is: I earn my own money as well as what my parents provide me, plus I am good with the money I do have (and a fair chunk of my money goes on my appearance).
I'm perceived to be rich. But in reality I have an NHS nurse as a mum and a dad who is registered disabled. My grandad also comes from the council estate where The Scheme is set. Whilst I'm hardly working class I'm certainly not as privileged as a some people have me pinned down as. Truth is: I earn my own money as well as what my parents provide me, plus I am good with the money I do have (and a fair chunk of my money goes on my appearance).
12. Use the name people prefer
Saves embarrassment and anger. Jeff isn't always short for Jeffery. And some people choose a different name because people pronounce their true name different on their home country. I have an Irish friend Deidre and a Romanian friend Laura. Google how you pronounce these names in their home land.
13. People with good relationships with themselves have better relationships with others
They aren't insecure and don't think they're other half is cheating if they talk to a guy at the bar. They don't get paranoid if someone can't make their birthday. They also won't whine to their friends if their bum is fat. Love yourself otherwise others might show you the door.
14. You'll never gain true happiness pretending to be someone you're not.
I've become happier since I went vegetarian. Not because veggies are necessarily happier people but because by giving up meat I was finally being true to myself. I'm also happier at a bar with a pint of Apple juice playing pool with a bunch of boys than I am out at a club with a bunch of girls.
15. What you choose to do for your GCSE's/Highers won't effect "the rest of your life"
Unless you're planning to apply for a degree in Medicine what subjects you do at this point don't specifically matter. What is more important is how well you perform in them. Most degrees only request that you have Maths or English.
16. Define what success means for yourself
Do you want to be a stay-at-home mum? Maybe you have no plans to open your own business and would prefer to work for someone else forever? Maybe you don't think you've made it until you're Prime Minister? We all have different goals and they're unique to each of us.
17. Those who are successful (in their own way) probably made sacrifices
No matter what you find yourself successful in you probably made a sacrifice. The high powered career woman who wonders what it might have been like if she had procreated. The mother who doesn't have all that of a social life. We all make sacrifices; it's about deciding which ones you want to make.
18. Your parents aren't always right
Ssssht! Not saying that fifteen year olds should drink on a street corner but sometimes you do have to throw two fingers in the air at mama and papa and tell them that you want something different than what they had planned. I'm still finding the courage to get tattooed here!
19. Bad experiences don't change a character - they test it
Ever noticed how two people can go through the same thing and yet one ends up running a business whilst the other remains in psychiatric ward forever? Whilst it's not as black and white as this - there's some people who have gone through experiences that are obviously hard to recover from - remember this the next time things fall apart for you.
20. What ever you're going through someone else has been through it before
My search history includes "my boyfriend has left me for someone" and "how to get over a bulgarly". Try some Googling or even group therapy. No matter how alone you feel there is someone out there who has felt exactly the same before and is proof you can come out the other side.
21. Concentrating on what you do have can get you through the worst
Just over a year ago I was homeless, said goodbye to a friend than had wronged me, I wanted to leave university and got left for someone. During this period of my life I reminded myself that I had a supportive family, an active social life and even though I didn't quite like my degree anymore, I was still good at it. A positive attitude can get you through so much!
Morag x
